Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize