bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
