woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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