Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize