if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize