some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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