Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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