I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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