I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he fucked my hip out of place.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
