I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
