I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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