Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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