Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
