she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
