Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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