I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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