I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
