I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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