Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize