just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
