Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
