Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
