R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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