you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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