How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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