Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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