Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
