is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
