Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
