Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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