Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
