I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
