I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
