I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
