I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
