Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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