Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize