Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
