do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
