Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
