Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize