What did we do last night that was yellow?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
