i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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