yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
