Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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