So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Randomize
