go do what you do best...puke behind churches
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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