Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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