Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
