I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
