I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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