Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
