i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
