in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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