on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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