ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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