Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
