I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize