I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
