She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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