your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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