we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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