I puked a lego.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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