HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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