Welp...herpes.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
