okay pat passed out under dana's car
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
