oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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