just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do herpes really smell.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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