I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
