What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize