if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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