billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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